www.satirebonn.com

 

German Diet á la Carte

 

You just book it, they will cook it!

 

 

Some people in Great Britain revel in the charm

of World War II and re-enactments at Hop Farm.

For them it seems to be an elevating sight

to closely watch the British and the Germans fight,

when their tough soldiers in their frightening Cruiser tanks

break massively through German lines and crush their ranks.

 

They love when allies carry out an air attack

while Germans viciously respond with their ack-ack.

But what all young and old spectators really like

is when their own brave forces launch their final strike,

and everybody is particularly merry

each time their valiant boys knock out a nasty Jerry.

 

...

 

Of late a government official had been caught

when he just inadvertently expressed the thought

that shows like these and dedicated re-enactors

could be regarded as containing crucial factors

to stabilise their modern multiracial nation

at times of economic crises and frustration.

 

This rather strange, odd view was very much contested

but staunch Conservatives agreed it should be tested,

...

 

This government official then explained at length

what it would really take to build up Britain’s strength.

He said their nation urgently would need a threat

that put its loyal subjects in a real cold sweat.

 

He also argued that to heal their social rift

one would have to employ some experts with the gift

to thoroughly instill the fear into the Brits

that they had once experienced throughout the Blitz.

And for this job – the Cabinet had to admit –

only the Germans were considered to be fit.

 

...

 

Some very secret consultations went ahead

within Berlin where British politicians tread

upon politically extremely dangerous ground

in the true hope that their great efforts would be crowned

by setting up some proper re-enactment shows

right in the very heartland of their former foes.

 

...

 

Then after more top secret talks it was agreed

that Britain’s most unusual project could proceed.

They planned to set the first true re-enactment camp

into a dark, dense forest  that was cold and damp,

so that it made the mollycoddled Britons wince

and hope to be released by some good fairy prince.

 

...

 

Just shortly after - on the predetermined day -

the joyful British voyagers got on their way.

Some older boys, who’d joined this jolly travelling party

to reminisce about the war, looked hale and hearty,

and when the fleet of coaches had been set in motion

it seemed that they were truly driven by emotion.

 

The British really started to enjoy their ride

while passing though some pleasant German countryside

where buxom German Fräuleins met with cheerful shouts

when suddenly some passengers expressed first doubts

because their coaches left the proper country road

and drove into a forest with their human load.

 

A chap just joked: “The driver’s made a slight mistake!”

while others thought that they were stopping for a break.

Their fellow-travellers could not believe their eyes

when they - to their astonishment and great surprise -

were spotting through some thorny hedges of thick briar

tall towers close behind high fences of barbed wire.

 

The British tourists ended up inside that camp

where they were gruffly greeted near a wooden ramp.

Each group was introduced and handed to its warders

and instantly expected to obey their orders.

They goose-stepped all the members of that British group

to tiny khaki tents, no bigger than a coop.

 

...

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www.satirebonn.com

 

A pretty bizarre story of 35 verses, which finally turns out to produce a happy

ending for the British nation but which leave the British Government in a bit

of a predicament.

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Externe Links:

Der Krieg – Ein Spaß für die ganze Familie / Annette Dittert - ARD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdNSw2Vfyck&feature=player_detailpage#t=0

Awesome Last Days of WW2 Battle Re-enactment. " War and Peace”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXbauSWMaZ4

 

BBC documentary about the re-enactment movement in England
Part 1  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1eO6q19BIo

 

Part 2   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghMHYNhckeg

 

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