How 'Love' shortened dole queues in Britain

 

The local pub looked empty and run-down.

It was the only business left in town.

The tired-looking barman, Victor Drout,

served Bob another pint of lukewarm stout,

then turned the volume up on the TV

to catch the final words of their MP:

 

"Our party improved education,

reduced taxes and lowered inflation.

We modernised Britain’s defences

and curtailed our public expenses.

Just give us five more years and we’ll wipe out

all unemployment without fail or doubt."

 

Bob Love was staring blankly at the bar.

That talk had never got him very far,

for here in little Dulham every soul,

like him, had spend his worklife on the dole.

 

. . .

 

At home he cleared his mind with some more booze

and loudly voiced his new political views.

With all those heavy matters in his head

Bob reeled upstairs and slumped down on his bed.

 

. . .

 

His neighbours noticed that there was a change

as Bob did things most curious and strange.

He secretly rehearsed the art of speech

in front of any mirror within reach

while for a microphone he used his comb

resolved to really drive his message home.

 

. . .

 

In Parliament, however, Bob perceived

his presence there was not so well received.

But as his goal seemed within easy reach

he steadfastly made his inaugural speech:

 

. . .

 

“Hear, hear”, echoed from the Commons’ benches

that were surrounding Bob like wartime trenches.

Bob swallowed hard and with his feelings curbed

continued outwardly quite unperturbed:

. . .

 

On hearing this the House looked most astounded:

Could their distrust of Bob have been unfounded?

. . .

 

In Germany Bob got a big reception

to teach MPs his wonderful conception:

how they - with their electorate's consent -

could spend all taxes to their heart's content.

And to the German Chancellor's great enjoyment

there was a sudden drop in unemployment.

 

. . .

 

(a story of 48 verses)

 

* * *

 

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